Jefferson Bethke
By Ashley Andrews, 700 Club Interactive
CBN.com BEFORE
Jefferson Bethke grew up in Tacoma, Washington, on the south side. "It isn't the nicest," he remarked, "but I thought it was 'normal' until I moved." Growing up, Bethke was a regular at church, but he merely went through the motions. As a teenager, he was more interested in the opposite sex than anything else. As he shared, "Before I was a Christian I sought almost entirely to find my identity in women." And like a large percentage of youth these days, Bethke got into pornography ("sex" and "porn" are among the top five search terms for those under eighteen - xxxchurch.com). But it didn't stop there. As he shared, "Society told me that in order to be a man, I had to sleep with a lot of girls, and so I did. But it only led me down a path of more hurt, guilt and emptiness. It took me years to realize I was doing it primarily because no one in my life told me I was a man - I had to go prove myself and remove all shadow of a doubt." Tired of his lifestyle and addictions, Jeff finally gave his life to Christ in college at eighteen. But becoming a Christian did not solve his problems.
Once Bethke got saved, he assumed that everything bad in his life would just dwindle - that he simply wouldn't desire that old life. But he was wrong. "All my other temptations (drinking, smoking, partying) began to fade. But the power of sex seemed to change little. I still desired to run to it when I was mad or needed satisfaction. The only change was now I also simultaneously hated it. I would do it and then just loathe myself for doing something I knew God did not condone." He could barely stand himself, as he struggled constantly to fend off his addiction. He asked himself, "'If I'm a Christian why do I still struggle? Why does it seem I have no power to conquer this? Am I saved? Does God love me?' On top of that I was going to a church that seemed perfect. Due to the fact they always put a clean and squeaky guy up on stage to share his testimony on Sunday, I figured I was the only one having these problems and struggles. It was right at that time, just when I was close to throwing in the towel on my walk with God...some older godly man started to share with me his struggles, his hurts and his hard spots in his marriage. He started to be transparent, raw, and real showing the true meaning of boasting in the cross of Christ alone. At first I was amazed and shocked. I remember thinking for the first time that I wasn't alone. It was through that period that I finally began to experience victory and see just how beautiful Jesus' redemption was because I had freedom to struggle."
AFTER
Today, Jeff is no longer burdened by fear or self-hatred. And he will be the first to admit it was not easy - it didn't happen overnight. It was a slow process, but essentially, he shared, "I realized me as king of my life wasn't working and that we were created to find rest and satisfaction in God. I also saw the cross for what it is and Jesus pursuing us while we didn't even want Him and it transformed my heart...It's messy. It's gritty. It's not perfect. I'm still growing and just continually clinging to Him." He's just thrilled he has Jesus in his life now. And all it took was understanding. "There's nothing that sparks in me a joy for life...than when I truly understand just all God has done for me in the cross of Jesus. The day my life changed was when I realized that He saw all my filth, all my sin, all my shortcomings, and all my insecurities yet still looked me right in the eye and said,?'I love you and I'm not going anywhere.' The best part about being a Christian is that I don't have to have it all together...I'm loved and pursued by a God who does. I never went searching for Him, but He went searching for me. That's quite an awesome truth! I love Jesus, I'm addicted to grace...I'm just a messed up dude trying to make Him famous."
Bethke makes a point to share his heart and faith with any and all that will hear it - hence his YouTube account "bball1989," which features every one of his poems. In a way, it has become his ministry. He wants others to learn from his story and see just what God's mercy can do. "The truth is, the fact we wrestle is one of the biggest signs we are saved to begin with. Do dead people wrestle? Do corpses struggle? No. It is only because we have been made alive that we are a new creation." In the end, his purpose is to help others find the same freedom in Christ he has. He wants people to see what the cross has done in their own lives. "We have to see that the cross is something done for us," he shared. "...To give us a perfect and beautiful relationship with our Creator. We don't have to hide, feel guilty, or swim in shame. When you feel the need to 'pay' for your sin, remember Jesus paid for it all, and with a triumphant cry declared 'it is finished!' God knew you were going to be messy, that's the whole point of the cross! So rest in that fact - rest knowing that Jesus wants you, not your stuff or your behavior. He just wants YOU."
FROM 1 THOUSAND TO 23 MILLION
Bethke's first poem released on YouTube in early to mid January, "Why I Hate Religion, but Love Jesus," drew over 23 million viewers to date. The spoken word incited responses both for and against his message. Some accused him of being "anti-church," and others convicted him of being Biblically "unsound." However, some applauded him for his use of expression, and many were even enlightened, saying "I've learned a lot" and "I am humbled." In a matter of days, Bethke went from being some random guy on YouTube to the spoken word artist who had everyone in an uproar, even atheists. Not everyone knew his name, but everyone knew his poem.
Following his debut, Bethke clarified in interviews just what he meant by his poem and why he wrote it. "When I used the word religion," he commented, "I didn't mean it as an institution. I meant religion equals any work of righteousness that has someone hoping to earn favor with God." Then, he continued, "It's a poem I wrote to highlight the difference between Jesus and false religion. In the scriptures, Jesus received the most opposition from the most religious people of His day. At its core, Jesus' gospel and the good news of the cross are in pure opposition to self-righteousness/self-justification. Religion is man-centered. Jesus is God-centered. The poem highlights my journey to discover this truth. Religion either ends in pride or despair - pride because you make a list and can do it and act better than everyone, or despair because you can't do your own list of rules, and feel 'not good enough' for God. With Jesus, you have humble, confident joy because he represents you; you don't represent yourself and His sacrifice is perfect, putting us in perfect standing with God the Father...When I see people upholding rules or regulations more than Jesus and Him crucified, then it bothers me, because self-righteousness is essentially saying, 'we don't need your sacrifice, Jesus, we can do it on our own.'" And he knows for a fact that no matter how hard you try, you cannot save yourself. No one can. It can only happen through the cross.
What's more, Jeff thinks that God would have a few things to say to "religious" folks today. "I think the first place he'd go is some of the 'religious' bookstores, TV and radio stations and flip some tables. Then I think he'd head over to Skid Row in LA to hang out with people that looked most like him while he was on earth. Also, I think his heart would break. Being God he is most sensitive to all the pain, strife, hurt and evil in the world. And since his heart is untainted by sin, I can't even imagine the brokenness he feels for this world. Praise God for his sacrifice, love, and willingness to lay down his life for us."
TODAY
Since his first poem, Bethke has also shared several other poems including "Sexual Healing," "Sex, Marriage, & Fairytales," "The 'Unforgivable' Sin," "Death of YOLO" and "Counterfeit Gods." He has also taken on topics like secular music, tattoos, dressing modestly, relationships and, of course, religion. His heart is simply to reach his generation in any way he can. "I'm extremely passionate about the next generation falling in love with Jesus. I am sick of people always thinking being a Christian meant 'hates gays, can't drink beer, and no tattoos'...My prayer is my generation would represent Christ faithfully and not swing to the other spectrum."
Now, seeing where God has taken him, Bethke says that he couldn't imagine his life without God. "I am thankful for grace. I am thankful that the cross of Jesus met me where I am. I'm thankful that I don't have to perform for Him, but rather He has performed for me. That's the grace that drew me in the first place, and it's that grace I cling to daily. How could I not after all He has done for me? He is worthy of all my worship. He is worthy of all glory. I pray to God that through all of this I would grow and pursue Him more deeply, cherish Him more fervently and love Him more fiercely. This has been a once in a lifetime opportunity, and my hope is to steward it well, remaining faithful and pointing to Him!"
COUNTERFEIT GODS - SPOKEN WORD
"You might say I don't believe in God, but the Bible says, 'Not possible.' See, everyone has a god whether or not it's the God of the gospel. You might not believe in God, but everyone has that one thing that's king. Even the dictionary defines God as 'Whatever we make supreme.' Because it's a theme, a thread, it's inside of all human beings, the fact that we all worship. And no, it's not just about singing.
Now I know you're like: 'Jeff, I don't worship, I put that on the shelf.' But I say technically we all worship, we just worship ourselves. See we all worship something. To an object we're all liable. Ladies, to some your boyfriend is your God, and Cosmo is your Bible.
Yet, we mock and we laugh at the Israelites Golden Calf, but we do the same right back. It just looks different than that. So question: what's on your throne? What do you chase so you don't feel alone? So what defines you, what do you give ultimate worth? And what if taken will bring ultimate hurt? Now see, that is your God.
And all of us...we've sacrifice deep joy for shallow happiness. To be honest, we look like fools. We're like full-grown adults in the kiddie pool, going 'Oh my goodness guys, this is like so cool,' because we're slaves to our possessions. We are always craving something new. Reality check: if you can't give it up, you don't own it. It owns you.
And that's why the Bible, it says we're all spiritual prostitutes. In fact it says we're worse, because at least prostitutes get paid for their works. All we get paid is a hearse. That's why worship is not just behavior. It goes way into our core. So ask yourself what is your God? What do you bow down before?
For example, some of us, we don't worship God, but we worship what He said. We got theology in your head, but in your hearts, poor, pitiful, naked and dead. Or some of us worship in stadiums, while some of us worship in bars. Some of us worship our possessions, while some of us worship our cars. See, some of us worship science, while some of us worship the arts. But I don't care what your clothes your idol's wearing. The disease is the heart.
Or my favorite is those guys who say: 'Jeff, I'm a man, because I'm in control!' Okay, then can you tell me why you can't stop having sex with your hand while staring at your MacBook Pro? Or what about those guys who trade their wives for their jobs at work - give more time to their boss then their actual wives' needs or hurts. And ladies, ladies, no guy can love you more than Jesus already had. So stop putting your worth in Magic Mike. He's so much better than that.
Now, I know what you're thinking, you're probably thinking: 'Jeff, are you saying we should hate money, hate alcohol and never have sex?' No, but I'm not saying that God created those all to be enjoyed in their proper context.
But I want to transition. I want to make a spiritual incision. Can you really say these things are the ultimate purpose of living? I mean, instead of worshiping the Creator of you and I, we've all said, 'Screw you God! I'll take your stuff, but you can die.' But that trade is terrible - trading God for man. It's like God offers us water, and we say, 'But God, this is such good sand!'
Or my friends they'll say, 'Jeff, a God that requires me to give up something I just can't fathom.' Yet most of us seem fine giving up everything for a quick orgasm. I mean, am I the only one who's felt the gnawing within? Am I the only one who's felt the weight of my own sin? But see here's what's unique...go ahead and critique, but if you hear anything, here this one thing that I speak.
Where we exchanged ourselves for God thinking we could be Him, He exchanged Himself for us absorbing all our sin. I mean, God literally, put on flesh and do you see how we treated him? The ultimate war veteran, because he was killed for our freedom. Nonetheless, He was thinking of you and me, with every whip that beat Him, knowing full well we'd still go, 'Nah, I don't really need Him.'
But like a Father, He couldn't bare his children to not be free. So He thought up that tree, paid our fee, for specs of dirt like you and me. So my plea is let Him restore His proper place. I promise you He loves you right now. Just trust in His grace. Because before I leave, I'll leave you with this: What are those other things took nails in their wrists?
Or how about when was the last time money or sex forgave you? When is the last time your boyfriend set you free from all you're enslaved to? See what else died so that you could be made new? Or when was the last time the world promised satisfaction, and actually came through?"