Bryana Johnson
By Suzanne O'Keeffe, 700 Club Interactive
CBN.com –Bryana is not your typical college bound nineteen year old. There is a passion and self-discipline that seems to go beyond her years and is evident in conversation and her writings. Bryana comes from a family that is still intact and unscathed by divorce which she says is an uncommon occurrence and has observed surprise and even envy from other students. As we spoke about underage dating, Bryana said one of the contributing factors was just that-broken homes. She expressed that many parents, maybe out of guilt, don't want their child to be left out or experience the rejection that may accompany peer pressure. It would appear that parents have succumbed to the peer pressure more than the child by allowing their "underage" children to date and have relationships they are not yet emotionally prepared for.
According to Bryana this attitude of early dating plays a major role in contributing the breakdown of future relationships and marriages. Pre-teens are nowhere near emotionally or physically ready to be in committed relationships with the opposite sex. They are driven by hormones and social acceptance which burn out as quickly as they develop. Then, they immediately move to the next one. This behavior postures them for a repeated behavior pattern for life as well as experiencing hurts that have long term effects. The constant giving of their heart only to take it back again sets the stage for an easy exit when in a marriage. At their young age and driven by self, the notion of putting someone else first and in a manner of love is foreign to them. Their idea of love is the racing heart and emotional lift when they are with the person. Some adults have offered their expertise by encouraging teens that they will always find another or "they're just having fun", and that they will learn from the experience. Bryana, who volunteers at a Crisis Pregnancy Center, attested that the "fun" has led to lives that have been defiled and many have lost sight of their dreams.
Bryana also addressed the misconception that underage dating is "not really about the sex" when indeed it is the driving factor. Kids are drawn to one another not because they are looking for stability in marriage or any of the other things that are involved in a long term committed relationship, but because they are physically attracted to one another. The influences of the media (commercials, magazines, music etc.) are designed to awaken the sexuality of young teens while exploiting their immaturity to make money off them. The role of the parent appears to have been "desensitized" and they have given up their place of authority in order for their child to experience and live life. Those life experiences have played out in the following statistics: In 2006, 95% of Americans said they had premarital six, in 2008 40% of the marriages in the United States had ended in divorce and today-the ratio of births to unwed mothers is 4 out of 10.
Bryana said avoiding the underage dating and its pitfalls requires a conscious decision on every teen's part. Parents can assist them by explaining to them it is acceptable to wait until they are older and deter them from giving themselves away over and over again. Bryana ended our conversation with these words," don't wait on culture to change but you change the culture."