Lynn Donovan
By Ashley Andrews, 700 Club Interactive
CBN.com –LYNN AND DINEEN
The idea of a book all started when Lynn started a blog titled Spiritually Unequal Marriage, while at the same time The Lord was stirring Dineen's heart with the same thoughts. The two connected and became close friends with the same desires to help women pray and find faith in unequal spiritual marriages. There is in marriage the challenge of raising children, add the component of a couple who don't share a "spiritual connection," and it increases. In the book Not Alone, Lynn and Dineen put to words the passion in their hearts to help women in this position and assist them to raise children in the love and fear of the Lord. They write with a level of authority because though married to "amazing men," their husbands have not joined them in their spiritual beliefs. Their marriages and children have had confrontations, but they will explain how through prayer and pressing through, they have families that are prospering. From firsthand experience they offer encouragement, advice, and hope to many women who feel alone in their beliefs. At the close of each chapter are questions to provoke the reader to search deeper for the Lord.
LYNN
When Lynn married in 1992, she was not walking with God; she was carving out her own world and path to life. In her thoughts, she believed she was saved, but she "lacked a vibrant, personal relationship with God." After three years of being married, The Lord began to pursue Lynn planting the desire for her to return to Him. As Jesus called her, Lynn became aware that what the world had to offer her was greatly lacking and so began her turn back to Jesus. She returned joyfully, her husband "kicking and screaming," not understanding what had taken place. Today they have a wonderful marriage, they have a great love and heart's desire for each other and Lynn says that is all because of Jesus being alive and working in their marriage.
HOW SHALL I NOW LIVE?
"Can I do this? Am I enough? How can I do this?" all questions Lynn and Dineen address. Yes God is enough, God is faithful, and you are not alone in this life. Regardless of your marital status, they advise not to ignore the spiritual position of the father; even if he opposes your faith and desire to go to church. Raising your children in the knowledge of the Lord, and setting the example by praying for your husband will teach them to respect him. They suggest that reaffirming to your children that their father loves them, no matter his faith or lack of it, will give them a place of security and peace. If mother's live out their faith with love, never belittling her husband, and "allowing our actions to do the talking," it creates the setting for healthy family relationships.
One way of teaching your children the ways of the Lord, while still honoring their father is to create moments of prayer and Bible teaching that doesn't bring in your fact confrontation with husbands. Lynn and Dineen write applying Deuteronomy 6:6-7 to teach them rehearse the truths of the Bible as you move about everyday life, in the car, at the store, upon rising in the morning; take every opportunity during their waking moments to feed them the truth of God's Word.
SAYING NO
Many dad's may resent their families attending church, fights can ensue, emotions surfacing because he won't go, and you know that you will be surrounded with complete families when you walk through the doors every Sunday. Lynn wrote she had to come to a place of surrendering all her insecurities and emotional conflicts, no longer thinking about what her family was not. Another revelation was the awareness that if she and her children missed a Sunday at church, and stayed home to be with her husband that it was ok. However, she continued to point out that church, fellowship, worship, and teaching should be kept high priority.
In the chapter titled Peaceful Kids, Dineen takes on the topic of how to steer children through the moments where the world and dad say yes, and you say no. She discovered the truth that saying "no" does not create the desire to obey, but appealing to their heart with leading by example early in their life will set the stage for dialogue about the decisions you make in their behalf. Live your life as honestly and transparently that you can. Be intentional about your faith; pursue the Lord as you desire your children to, thus setting the way for them to follow. Trust that God will be stronger than what the world and any opposition would present to your children. Children cannot be hidden from the things that will possibly challenge their faith and position in Christ, but if they have been equipped to recognize truth, ignore the lies then they will be able to choose rightly. Tools to keep the lines of communication open include being able to give them options when having to say no to other things. It gives them the feeling of being respected as you talk through with them your reason for saying no, and offering an alternative. Point them to become involved with community projects etc. that will enable them to learn to look and see others and not just themselves. Include their dad in the activities so that a trusting relationship is developed. Never forget you are a team, it is vital your children see that there is "solidarity" in your marriage.
In conclusion Lynn writes, "Our legacy as mothers is priceless, and we will see the rewards of our love and faith in heaven, as the generations arrive there, one by one, to say that their mother's faith was the most important part of their lives."