Shannon Ethridge
By Mimi Elliott
CBN.com –MEETING HER EMOTIONAL NEEDS
Shannon grew up in church but didn't understand the concept of remaining sexually pure. Even though her parents were married, Shannon says her father was unemotional and detached. "I never felt warmth from him," she says. Shannon looked for love in the arms of different men and was fairly promiscuous as a single. In 1990, she married Greg. Soon the shining qualities Shannon once saw in her husband grew dim and she began to compare him to other men. Shannon says at one time she was having extramarital affairs with 5 different men (her scuba coach, her accounting teacher, her ex-boyfriend, etc.) but did not have physical intercourse with them. (They were emotional affairs.) Greg was aware of her attractions to these men because Shannon was honest with her feelings. "I told him I felt drawn to these different men and wanted him to help me be accountable," she says. Once when she was feeling emotionally empty, she cried out to Greg, "You just don't meet my emotional needs!" Greg replied, "Shannon, you have a Grand Canyon of emotional needs. If every man stood outside your door, they still couldn't meet your needs. There's nothing that I or any other man can do. You need to seek your fulfillment from God." Shannon was shocked but soon realized that the source of her fulfillment could only come from a personal, intimate relationship with Jesus. Greg also told Shannon that the reason she was going through these sexual struggles was because of the relationship between her and her dad. "It would make me so mad when he would tell me that," says Shannon. (Today father and daughter have a great relationship.)
Through her struggles over the years, Shannon understands that in some way or another sexual and emotional integrity is a battle almost every woman fights. Many women believe since they are not in a physical, sexual affair that they don't have a problem. As a result, they engage in behaviors and thoughts that compromise their integrity and rob them of true sexual and emotional fulfillment.
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY VS THE FANTASY FALLACY
Fifty Shades of Grey has been on the top seller lists, and that includes internationally, and on the New York Times for 31 weeks at the time of this writing. This "mommy porn" trilogy has appealed not only to the average mom, homemaker and their daughters but includes large numbers of Christian women!
NOT JUST A MAN'S BATTLE
Men and women struggle in different ways when it comes to sexual integrity. While a man's battle begins with what he takes in his eyes, a woman's begins with her heart and thoughts. But sexual compromise is not just a physical one. Shannon reminds women that God is looking at the heart. He wants us to control our minds and our desires so that we can be more like Him. "Women need to wake up to the fact that we can disappoint God in our sexual integrity," says Shannon. Genuine intimacy in a marriage involves the physical, mental, spiritual and emotional aspects of both the man and woman. Learn to connect with your spouse. "God's plan is a perfect plan and in it you'll discover a joy you've never known before," Shannon says.
Shannon encourages married couples to understand that sex is actually a form of worshipping God that a husband and wife enter into together. When two become one flesh physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, the couple says to God, "Your plan for our fulfillment is a good plan." Shannon says couples should pray together each night with no intention of becoming physical afterward. "As you share openly with God, you will more than likely experience a spiritual closeness that may awaken your desire for a more intimate physical closeness," says Shannon. She believes it's time for women to stop hiding and start becoming real with God and their husbands. While writing the book, Shannon emailed her husband, asking him if he was ready for her to let everyone know about her testimony. His reply: "If I thought that you were the exception and that your issues were unique, it would be harder. But I really do believe that these are every woman's issues and am proud that you are the first one brave enough to talk about them. If you can be brave enough to talk about them, I can be brave enough to stand by your side."