T.C. Ryan
By Suzanne O'Keeffe-700 Club Interactive
CBN.com –T.C.RYAN
There is a two-fold purpose for writing this book and as T.C. explains it, he wants to help others by sharing his story, strengthen the body of Christ and be obedient in response to the call on his life. His story is that of being healed from sexual addiction by getting to the root of the issue and facing the behaviors and compulsions that were traced back to spiritual issues. As a pastor, T.C. recognizes that the church must change the approach to discussions of sexuality. Church members and leaders alike must be trained to recognize and understand the behavior in order to guide people who struggle.
SEXUAL ADDICTION
In the world today a nine year old can receive an image on his phone of pornographic nature leaving an imprint and impression this is acceptable behavior. On the other hand, young girls receive the message that they are validated by how they use their bodies in sexual nature to satisfy others. At a very young age the ability to mature in intimacy is stopped and sexual brokenness and addiction is set in motion. Although shocking, it is not surprising to realize that 40% of the adult population of this country is caught in sexual addiction. Being rationalizing creatures by nature, often a sexual addict will not recognize their behavior nor see the destruction of the deepest part of them. In that destruction is a loss of perspective and their will to make right choices. While not minimizing the struggle of addiction, T.C. points out that in his life, bad choices in behavior put him in a cycle where he almost lost hope of ever getting out of it. He shares that deep went the roots of his "compulsive" behavior and it lasted 40 years. At the base of such behavior he writes, are lies the addict believes; that they are lacking in value and purpose. In order to escape or numb the pain, they look for a means of escape which is found in the world of sex. "They add to their core beliefs that sexual expression offers them the only relief they will ever find.....without it would simply be unbearable."
EXPOSURE
The depth of the struggle convinces the sex addict that they can't tell anyone because not only will they be rejected, but condemned and shamed more than they already are. T.C. wants to help people understand the cycle of addiction and bring change while making it clear it is a difficult road but can be done. The essentials in helping someone trapped in this behavior are to bring first the truth and then a gathering of love, support and community. The church must find a new manner to confront sexual brokenness in her body and allow people to share honestly and without condemnation, and become a safe place for help to be administered. God sees our sexual conflicts and wants to love and help us through them. All too often the church wants to hear the testimony of the broken but only if the completed redemption is included. Too long T.C. hid his secret and instead of being able to bring it to the light so help could come; he struggled alone for many years and found himself closed off from his family in Christ. That position left him with the knowledge he was "a compromised leader." After years of therapy and working at trying to get free, he was arrested being at the wrong place at the wrong time. The shock of that event led him to "unplug my compulsive sexual performance life."
CHURCH AND HER RESPONSE
He left his church and the ministry after he finally reached the end of himself and took part in a therapy called "restructuring" that required the support of others and would be a long process. As he shares his story, he brings promise and hope saying,"God will not waste our pain if we cooperate with him." At the writing of this book, T.C. shares that after more than four years, he is still free from the sexual behavior and free to live his life that he never thought could be his. The key is to not stay hidden; there is no shame in brokenness. The role of the church is to "bear one another's burden, and so fulfill the law of Christ." while administering grace and not pronouncing judgment on each other. In order for broken individuals to share, there must be trust, trust that God will complete His work and trust in those who will come alongside and walk the journey with the person. While those actions form a sense of community in Christ, trust also creates an atmosphere of mutual respect for each individual to be free from fear and shame.
T.C. closes the book referring to Peter in the New Testament. Peter did not have a perfect walk, there were some areas that were not yet worked out but "he belonged to Jesus, and he was secure in his belonging" and that is how T.C. thinks of himself and knows no matter what, God never changes, He always stays the same and quitting is never an option for God or himself.
T.C. and Pam were married in 1978 and have four grown children. He currently has a ministry that focuses on "achieving spiritual wholeness in a sexually broken world." and leads seminars and speaks with groups as well as individuals.